Rude New Yorker

Some of the first words that come to mind when thinking of a New Yorker are:

rude

arrogant

self-indulgent

snobby

bitchy

highly opinionated

ignorant

phony

fake

rich

Its funny coming back to the city I've spent all my life in. I feel like an outsider, even in my own home. I feel that Philadelphia has opened my eyes to the life I was living and the life I live now. I spent 6 years in a private school in manhattan, to some degree its a lot of peoples dream to live in the city that never sleeps. Before I left for Philadelphia, I felt that New York was the place to be to meet people, to have friends, to live your life, but now my entire idea has changed and to be frank my mother does not agree with me. I grew up with a therapist and shrink, yeah I must be pretty fucked up haha. I believe that because I grew up with this background for parents, I tried to keep an open mind to things that I didn't understand. I have always tried to be the odd one out, not for the reason to being different but for the reason of trying not to be labeled as the "New Yorker". I didn't make friends with people because I knew I was different; I just never knew what it was. After going to college and meeting people from all over I realized that my open mind has sort of shot me in the foot. I look at New Yorkers as a breed of people that I don't relate to, even though I was born in New York and have lived my entire life here. College has changed me for the better but everyone looks at me like I am some freak of nature. What's the problem with drinking a whiskey and coke or liking country music. Am I already deemed a hick? What about my friends who all love country music and love any type of whiskey who only live an hour away from New York in South Jersey. Shouldn't New Yorker's be more open then anyone considering it's one of the biggest places of tourism? It seems not. Already being home for a week, I've realized how different I am, especially after all my friends have mentioned that the new me is not what they expected when they said they wanted to see me again. I've grown up and it seems that nobody else has. For example my mother. It seems that as a teenager every person has problems with their mother, but it seems that the only type of relationship I can have with her is either happy and friendly or at odds. Finally after years of hating who I was because I didn't have friends and I couldn't figure out why, I'm happy and love who I am, yet my mother is so critical of who I've become. I'm now somebody who:

has friends

has confidence in myself

is intelligent and can show it

is in love with a marine

is more aware of other people

is happy to be myself

accepts all of myself

Do any of these qualities seem negative?? So why should my parent who claims to love me be upset when I come home and don't fit in anywhere except with my friends back in Philly? Why is it so hard to accept that I am different and that the qualities that I have are special at my age. How many girls have confidence in themselves? or actually accept who they are at 18? How many girls can honestly say that they found love and feel cared for? How many can be proud of themselves? I can't count that many, I know maybe two or three who have maybe one or two of these qualities. I feel that college is the place where you learn about yourself. Well I've learned over the last year that I am: a strong individual who loves life, loves my friends, loves myself. I have learned that I'm not so different, and what I think makes me different makes me special to people that I know now. Nobody I know in Philadelphia looks at me and says I'm some snotty, snobby, uptight, bitchy, or rude New Yorker and that's how I want to keep it! *Sempre Fi* *I mean no offense to ANY New Yorkers reading my posts, I am myself a born and raised New Yorker; These are just opinions and venting about what I have dealt with since moving back to New York*

3 Weeks

3 weeks but 46 left to go!

As of three weeks ago my marine left for his predeployment training. I realize I haven't been writing but I don't know what to say. I feel as though I am falling apart as he is getting more prepared. When he moved in to his room at Cherry Hill, I explained that I felt like it was final, that it hadn't hit me until he left that he was really going to Iraq. He told me he knew it was happening and he was prepared. Well I wish he had prepared me better for the very little communication that I have with him whenever he has a second to talk. I wish he told me that it was going to be hard but that he believed I could do it.

I feel so alone. College is done for the summer so I'm home, my family is completely against me staying with him while he deploys to fight some godawful war that really nobody believes we should be in. I've put so much faith and work into this relationship, I'm so worried it won't remain as strong as it is now. I know it is possible to be even better and that is the outcome I am looking for, but as many of you know, it hurts to be left alone for so long with nothing but the hope that your man comes back alive and still loves you.

I am so proud of him for everything he has done. I know I haven't exactly been the best girlfriend while he'e preparing to go but what can you do except hold them close and tell them you love them. I pushed him away and he never pulled back so our last few days together were miserable. That is my fault and I fully admit to that and apologize for it.

Its been 3 weeks and I have a lot longer til he's even deployed and I feel as though I am falling apart. I have been very lucky to have had 6 months with my marine rather than a month or a week or any time in between. The 6 months have shown me that I am strong enough to stand by a marine's side and be happy. God made me to fall for him and stay with him through this.

To all the women starting to deal with their boyfriends, husbands, fiancees, and even friends leaving for their tour of duty, remember they are protecting and fighting for us. We should only be so lucky to have had the time we did with our marines. They are amazing men and each one of them has someone here thinking about them. Love them, respect them, miss them!

I miss my marine every morning when I wake up without him next to me, every meal Ieat, I remember when he used to sit next to me, every afternoon when he would come to relax after a long day of classes with me, being on the motorcycle with him going 140 mph and above all I miss him the most at night, where he used to sleep next to me every night for 6 months. I am just beginning to deal with the pain of a deployment but I feel that my feelings are the same as many of you are dealing with.

If anyone would like to talk or communicate with me, you are more then welcome to email me here or at laceyduaneselman@gmail.com. SEMPRE FI!

1 Week Left

1 week left and 44 to go

At 8 am this morning I had to take a math midterm exam. My boyfriend and I woke up together so we could go; I spent time with him last night studying, so he doesn't fail the class, so when he gets back from Iraq he can return to Drexel. My boyfriend felt that he would fail the exam so why should he take the exam. I felt upset but said if thats how you feel I really can't stop you.

The worst part about it all is that halfway through my exam I realize that tomorrow is our 6 month anniversary and that within the next week he has to move out of Drexel and move down to North Carolina for his 3 month pre-deployment training. He gets activated next friday. I feel like I'm falling apart. I don't want to think that I have a few weeks left and finals when I can't spend as much time with him as I possibly can.

I am very excited for tomorrow though and this weekend. I decided to throw my boyfriend a huge going away party. The party is going to have about 25 people there and it should be so much fun. He and I are also going to go down to his beach house for the Memorial Day weekend.


SEMPRE FI
*remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

I Do...?

Welcome to the Family, Now your One of Us!

The biggest step in two peoples lives is to say the first and hopefully last I do. This past weekend I spent time with my marines family because I couldn't go home to my own. I found it so comforting to be around his family that seems to be close to perfect while mine is falling apart. It was also a treat to bond with his twin. I've always felt that if he and I did get serious, I would have to become close with her just because they are the only two people in the family who are blood related. (the entire family is adopted). That is probably why I feel so comfortable around his family. From the first second I met his parents I wanted to become part of his family. Well this weekend I semi got my wish. My marine's twin asked me what I was going to do considering her brother is leaving for Iraq in the fall. I was honest and explained that I was going to wait it out. She then says with a huge smile on her face that I am part of the family the newest Z***a. I stood here amazed because I thought she hated my guts. The other interesting part about his twin is she's been engaged TWICE! She's only 21 and has been engaged to two different men and at this point in time is single. So after this comment she goes on to ask whether or not he's proposed. I look at her with a confused smile. Of course I would love my marine to propose and say he wants to be with me forever, but it seems that it may not happen just because of who he is. He's not one to settle down, sadly. I feel that when he gets back from Iraq, he might have a different view of things being 22 at that point and all, but then again maybe not at all.... He might want to go back.... which is what would scare me even more... SEMPRE FI *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

I Keep Racking My Brain for a REASON

Why did he choose to pick up his life again and throw all that he has down the drain? I love him more then anything but why does he have to me hurt so that he can be the hero? I understand it's his duty and I feel in love with that but what about his duty to his family or me for that matter? Oh wait he has no duty to me because he is technically a single marine. I don't feel bad that he isn't married to me. It doesn't matter as long as he is coming back into my arms and nobody else. Honest to God I think it would be harder for me to marry him as he is running off to Iraq. Iraq scares me no matter how safe it is it. I've been told it's more dangerous to walk around in my neighborhood then in Al Asad. My biggest fear is him not coming home. I know it is so unlikely that he won't return but it is a fear that won't leave my mindset for a while. Fear is only a line away from other emotions. The only reason I fear is because I love him. Fear is irrational which goes hand in hand with love. You can't love without fear and you can't fear without love. I know he cares and that is why he can't always be honest about everything in Iraq. It's just so he can protect me. I respect him for trying to protect me from what he has seen and what he will see when he goes back. He has told me stories about how hard it was for him to adjust to life as a civilian when he got back. I mean I know how hard it is dealing with jet lag when i get back from Europe. It sucks, but imagine 7 months in a war zone with people not being abel to visit at all.

Visitors

are probably the nicest part about staying in the states and being not that far away from Drexel. All my friends and family can visit me and make sure I'm okay. Zappa can't, I can't even call the boy when he's over there. I think that's going to hurt the most. I love being able to hug him and his kiss his back, his shoulders, his chest, while I tell him I love him. I love being able to wake up next to him feeling his warm body against mine, or the way he holds me as he falls asleep. Falling asleep next to someone is the next most intimate thing I think two people can do. Letting someone be in bed with you as your as vulnerable as you can be is something so special. People wake up looking awful, breathing reeking. One is so vulnerable when their sleeping. A person could take advantage of that vulnerability and use it against you. It takes a lot of trust to really let someone lie next to you. *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

Marine VS. Army

What is the big deal?

My boyfriend is a marine and my best friend is in the army! Of course the one weekend I can see my army guy before he leaves for Afghanistan is the final weekend my boyfriend goes to drill before his deployment. i.e. my boyfriends going to be a pissy mess! My army friend isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the pack. He is rude and arrogant and I really can't put up with him, which is saddening because we've been friends for the last year. He doesn't understand that people aren't like him and that the way he acts isn't okay. He acts like an asshole to get girls and in New York, it works in Philadelphia yeah fucking right. I've taken him out to meet friends while he was here, but all he did was be completely disrespectful and got on me and everyone I know nerves. I respect my friend for joining the army and protecting the country and all that good stuff, but when it comes down to who I respect more, I respect my marine so much more. My army friend thinks he's better then my marine because he has had more training in infantry and crap of that nature. Yes my boyfriend is in communications but I like it better that way. I don't want him running off and shooting people. I guess the whole macho thing comes into play here. Army boy is off shooting people and comes off as an asshole; Marine boyfriend is doing a job to help people in communications. Its a mer choosing of who you want in bed with you at night. I once heard someone say that a woman wants to go out with the bad boy and have fun but takes the good guy to her bed. The army boy is the bad boy and my marine is the good boy in essence. I know its never that black and white but in the current situation it seems that way. I see how my army friends reacts and I don't think he's the right type of person to be involved in something so serious. He just seems to want to come off as a hero, but it really won't work. Look at what the Marines do when compared to the Army:

Marines:

• highly mobile amphibious attack force
• trained to attack from the water and establish a beach head, an area of control on foreign soil.
• Marines are mobile, lightweight, and very rapid.

Army:

• Ground-based military force.
• US Army captures and holds territory with the use of infantry, aircraft, and an extensive support staff.
• The US Army is in the thick of battle.

Just when looking at what each branch does you can't compare the two. I understand from the point of being a marine and being compared to someone in the army and or navy or coast guards, one would get offended. Marines do have the most vigorous and painful boot camp training of all the branches. I am not saying that the army boot camp isn't hard; it's just less "work". Sempre Fi! *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

Quotes

I noticed earlier on this week that many of the people who have stumbled across my blog are looking for Marine Girlfriend Quotes. I thought I would please some of them and add a new quotes I've seen running around online that I thought would be useful. If anyone has anymore please do leave a comment with them!

I'd rather be kissing than missing my marine

This bed is lonely without you here, missing my marine.

Half of my heart is in _____

The marines my have my husband, but I have his heart.

It may say US Marines over his heart, but it belongs to me.

No matter how many pillows I pile the bed with, it's so empty without him. Missing my deployed Marine.

A Marine's girl fights her hardest battle when she kisses her marine goodbye.

Missing you gets easier everyday, because it brings me one day closer to being with you again.

I'm the girl who worries everyday your away. I'm the girl who will stand by you through everything. The girl who is proud to say you are mine. The girl who loves you with my whole heart. I miss and love my marine. Come home soon.

I sleep alone so you don't have to. Proud Marine Girl missing my marine.

Just because he's deployed doesn't mean I'm single.

True love knows no distance. Loving & Missing my marine.

I may wear the glass slippers.. but my hero wears combat boots.

I'm the girl who waits months for a single kiss a kiss that makes the months apart worth every second ♥

God made some of the strongest women, and made their match with a Marine!

Forget shinning armor, I'm loving my hero in his dirty cammie's.

Roses are red, cammies are Green, I'm in love with a US Marine

Distance makes the weak weaker, and makes the strong stronger

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib: not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal; under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved