Monday, August 10, 2009

If I'm gonna die, I want to die comfortable...

After many weeks of anticipation and anxiety I finally brought myself to see the summer movie "The Hurt Locker". I knew before I even thought of stepping through the 2 sets of clear double doors of the Regal theater that I would have to mentally prepare myself for a movie that depicts Iraq as a dangerous place. The movie was incredible and I have been raving about it for about a week now.

The main I wanted to blog about this movie was a quote I picked up from the movie which is that "War is a Drug". I have been thinking about this since I saw the movie. It's hit a spot I can't seem to itch. I guess the reason I can't seem to shake it, is the fact that I believe the quote. I mean look at my boyfriend, he claims that the stuff he's heard is awful and he never would rather he run over by a car then go back but he's going back and he's excited.

It reminds me of a drug user, when their trying to get clean they say they'll never touch it again, they'd rather die then take another hit and then there they are getting that a hit a few hours later. I understand the idea to some degree, I mean I hate to say it but I'm really excited for this deployment just because I know I'm being involved in something in another country that I'll probably never step foot in. I wish it meant that I could be with him while he was doing all this good over in the the other country but I'm still excited.

I guess another reason that this quote hit so hard is just for the plain fact that my marine, the love of my life, the man I want to marry is going over there and after watching this movie which shows so much about the lifestyle of a bomb squad in Iraq, I can understand where he's going. The last thing I should be doing is watching a movie that talks about bombs killing civilians but as Staff Sergeant William James says

"If I'm gonna die, I want to die comfortable."

I feel the same way, if I have to feel like I'm dying every day from missing him and loving him at least let me be comfortable with what's really going over there right?

What do you think? Would you rather "die" while you marine is deployed and be at least comfortable that you know exactly what's going on? or would you rather be left in the dark and just jump in feet first like stepping on a pressure plate?


*Please take no offense, remember I too am a involved with a marine and understand how hard it is for those who go over to leave their loved ones. I also respect and give my prays to those who have been lost over in Iraq and Afghanistan!*
I know this is a different type of entry but it's been coming up in my life so much I felt that it was an important topic for me to journal about I guess. If you've read my pervious entry where I talk about my marine's family I explained that everyone in the family is adopted. Well here’s a shocker for ya but I am too. I found out at the age of 4 that I was adopted and have been excited to meet my birth parents ever since.

The real reason as to why I am letting everyone in on my dirty little secret is that I met my family last week. I feel that after a week I have a little more thoughts on my mind then when it happened. But to start from the beginning I found them in April after Spring Break. I talked to my boyfriend’s family over Spring Break about how all 4 of their kids found their birth parents and how the relationships worked out. Well it inspired me to go and find them. I have been talking to them for about 4 months. They are amazing people. I found out that my parents are still together and they have another child, so I have a biological little brother who’s about 6 years younger then me. I am so excited to meet them but as my birth mother says there is no right way to approach the situation.

Even though I have known my parents and my sister my whole life, it isn't the same relationship I have with my birth parents even though I have only spoke to them for a short amount of time. I love them with a passion that I've never cared for someone other then family. I can’t even explain it. I guess it really is because I’ve known about them since I was a little child but my adopted sister and my boyfriend share the same view of who gives a damn they gave me up and I don’t know them their not family.

Last weekend was amazing though, it was the 1st of August that I was able to meet them. After 4 months of waiting and waiting I was finally able to say I know my birth parents and my little brother. I think the part that hits so close to home is my little brother. Growing up with my little sister whose only 2 years younger then me is rough. We recycle friends, boys, schools, homework, and grounding, everything; so it’s so strange to meet someone who’s me in a younger version who acts exactly like I do. I guess talking to him really warped my mind. He’s so much like me that even has a lisp. Now that’s something my parents claim my adopted father gave me because he has one. He also loves violent video games like Halo and Unreal Tournament at 12. I guess even now I don’t have much to say, I’m still semi speechless about it but I thought I would update everyone as to why I haven’t been talking much.

Below is the new happy family! Hope all the marines are doing well! SEMPRE FI!Me and my Birth parents

Saturday, July 18, 2009

We're having the Talk Girls.. (A little racy)

Now girls, I know this is going to come off as being incredibly crude and I'm actually aiming for that with this post, but I was thinking about


now not just about sex but about the lack of it while my marine is away, and I'm guessing most of you are dealing with it too. That's why I decided to bring it up in a post. I feel its one of the most UN-TALKED about situations when dealing with anyone in the service. I mean sex is a huge part of any relationship and don't let anyone fool you. I know when I get mad all I want him to do is show me that he wants to be me with me rather then another girl at a party or a girl we both stared at while at the strip club.

I've realized after knowing for so long that my marine was leaving that not everything was about how many times I went down on him or how many times we had sex before he left, it was more about how many nights I got to spend in his arms or how many weekends we had together. Sex didn't seem to be important, at least when I was getting some *haha*. Since he's been gone and I'm on my own, sex is something of an interest. Sadly he doesn't see it the same way I do. He's learned to tame the beast shall we say. I have to admit when I did see him within 30 minutes we were on his bed.

I feel that sex is a way to keep couples intimate, I mean it's not just about the act its about what happens after. The cuddling, the loving feelings that come up. The togetherness... I mean there's nothing stronger then that. And when it comes down to it, I'm not entirely sure I can do the 7 months without having him around and that isn't even thinking about sex. How do women do it? I mean I know the first answer I'll get is toys and such but when it comes down to it, the intimacy isn't there, yeah maybe you'll feel satisfied for a few days or a few hours or whatever but aren't you going to miss your lover even more?

Since my marine left I feel lonely at night and sometimes people on the street catch my attention more, especially if they wear anything that smells remotely to what he wears, and considering its axe I smell all over manhattan. I guess I'm trying to find out from marines, girlfriends, wives, lovers anyone whose dealt with the delayed gratification of having their lover in their arms again.

I know this entry is a little racy and I don't think any place online does it talk about sex, but I think it's so important to understand how to deal with something so natural and something so amazing and intimate, because honestly I'm not really sure how to get through that part of the deployment. Well hopefully this will generate some information for me to understand, considering that I saw my marine 2 weeks ago and I'm already missing the intimacy we had when I saw him.

Well I would greatly appreciate any input even if its in an email, I know a lot of women have different ways of coping and knowing a few would be a hell of a help. Anyways ladies, hopefully you can fill out the poll. I mean no offense to anyone through this blog or any of the entires I've written. I use this blog more to open up my mind for the picking and to understand new things. I am so new at this lifestyle I don't really know how to act or how to respond or how to deal with stuff. So you guys are the ones who get me through all of this. This is how I'm learning to deal with the fact that the love of my life, the man I want to spend eternity with, is leaving for 7 long months to fight for this country.

Sempre FI!

I hope all of your marines are doing well and coming home soon!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Is It Fair?

I guess recently I haven't been writing as much because I'm slightly more morbid then I feel I should let on to others. This whole deployment thing is tearing me apart. Every time I talk to him it's either 2 seconds or it's nothing. I know it's unbearable for them. I understand that their up at the crack of dawn to do work and get off late and all they want it to sleep, but abandonment is starting to kick in even more. It just feels like I'm all alone in fighting for this relationship. I know it's not entirely true but it feels that way. I know I always get upset when I don't get to talk to him every few days to know he's okay and that he loves me. I know its a pattern, I get upset when he's unavailable for a few days.

So maybe this is just my upset rant that I can't talk to my boyfriend about everything. I mean things keep changing here and I can't even keep him up to date; but it's kinda sorta my own fault because I don't wanna call or text because I don't know what's going on where he is so I keep my distance and try to be available when he can talk. What about me though, what about what I am dealing with while he's being a marine and I'm a regular civilian? I know I know its selfish to think that I could ever compare with the marines and I know; but it sucks so hard core to know that. It sucks that I know that I can never compete or be ahead of a job.

How do you other women deal with it? Just sit at home and remember how much he loves you and you wait till he gets back to tell you how important you are in his life? I just feel like... I don't know anymore. I want to put up with everything, but it is very hard when almost everything seems to be falling apart to some degree. I know I shouldn't be thinking that my life is falling apart because things aren't going all so well, but it's so hard when I feel abandoned to sit here and look at what is positive. I bet everyone has problems when their worried about their lover, whether he or she be a marine or civilian.
Sempre Fi!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Ignorant People

Well all you marine girlfriends, wives and fiancées even close friends of marines have probably dealt with Ignorant people who honestly need to kicked in the face. I'm not one for violence but when someone is going off at the mouth about something that they have little information about of course I will call them out. They deserve to know that what their saying is total "bullocks" as my english friend said to me yesterday.

Today was one of the first days in a while that I didn't feel left behind or abandoned or really sad. I woke up with a smile on my face, probably because I reliving the time I spent with him last weekend. I was happy because I went out with people who finally respect my relationship for what it is and not what they believe. I went on facebook and saw a crude comment or at least an opinion that I found to be cruel and sorta ignorant.

The status reads as follows so, we pull out of Iraq, invade Afghanistan and then "Iranians" bomb Iraq and kill 40, hmmm, kinda think we should've stayed until we fixed it, we kinda leveled the place then left it in shambles." Now I have major concerns about this opinion and I voiced it. One we haven't pulled out of Iraq, if we did my boyfriend wouldn't be going over to Iraq in September. Two the bombing that killed 40 people was a double suicide bombing that wounded almost 65 people and killed about 35. The last part of his comment I just find to be ignorant and unsupportive. I agree with the facts that we did "level the place" but it isn't as though he have "left it in shambles". The Iraqi people are happy and scared that the U.S. military personal are no longer in the cities.

The part that annoyed me most about this person is that he got in my face when I explained that we haven't left Iraq and started to give me an attitude when I explained that my boyfriend wouldn't be going over if we had left. The worst part about this entire situation is that people don't even respect the fact that many of our lovers, friends, family members are being involved in a war in which so many people support our troops with words but when it comes down to actually supporting someone who is involved with a someone over there, they apologize and say how hard it is or some go why are you putting yourself through this. I must admit that sometimes it's nice to hear someone care but when they can't relate and you need help it just seems so rude to hear.

I realize I also have to be the big girl and not give heat to the fire per say but its awful when nobody supports what your doing and everybody is always questioning something that you believe in with your whole heart. I know from USMC gals that many of the DI's (drill instructors) in bootcamp try to break the recruits down by telling them that their girlfriends or someone special is disrespecting them. This to my knowledge makes the recruits more timid and fearful of what could happen. The same thing happens to the loved ones, when their being told how bad it is for them and stories about what could happen they begin to lose trust in their loved ones.

I feel its a no win situation, and sadly I think that these people who are so ignorant of what is really going on need a reality check!


*remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

Thursday, July 2, 2009

4th of July

Well the 4th of July has always been an amazing weekend; it's filled with family fun and fireworks. What could be better? Well this year I get to spend the 4th of July with my marine. I couldn't be happier. It's a national holiday that shows our freedom and I get to spend the weekend with a man who has dedicated three years of his life to that cause. I must admit my last entry was slightly upsetting after I reread it today. The feelings of dealing with a deployment, tour, whatever one wants to call it is a struggle.

I believe myself I am an optimist and that I can endeavor with whatever I am thrown into, but this relationship keeps me guessing every day. I have always been unsure of myself, no matter what I say I have always been very self conscious and aware of myself, not always the best feeling in the world, but whenever I was dating someone I never felt that they could tell I was self conscious because most of the time if I didn't see them they could tell me they missed me or that they loved me and not be so cryptic with everything they do.

Well as we all know Marines are not ones to be mushy and gushy at least not when around their buddies. That's the hardest part about deployments, I know over the last few months I've mentioned numerous things that I find hard, but I feel that the change in the person especially my marine is hard to deal with. I know already that he's going to be colder, not as sweet all the time and not as available. That's such a huge difference to the man that I met, and no I didn't fall in love with him because he was sweet or warm all the time or the fact that he was available a lot of the time. I just find the very small things that I would normally take for granted in any relationship the hard part.

It's funny, in the summer, ESPECIALLY in New York all the couples are out, whether their sunbathing in Central Park or sipping coffees in starbucks you see them everywhere. Every time I see a couple holding hands at a stoplight or a kissing in the rain, it makes my heart twinge. I've never gotten to stop at a stoplight and kiss my boyfriend or have it be warm enough that I could kiss him in the rain without getting sick. I know every marine girlfriend, fiancée, wife or any relation to any of the services deals with that feeling of loneliness when they can't be near their loved ones. It's just hard to believe I've joined a league of such extraordinary women and men who live their lives to protect this country.

Honestly, if some of the people I know from years ago heard me say the stuff I write here, they would never tell you it was me. They wouldn't be able to recognize the style or the thoughts in the writing. I must admit that I hide my sorrows that come from my relationship because not one of my friends who I've known since god knows when can honestly sit there and listen to what I'm saying without jumping off topic to their relationship or their friend or college.

I feel when I say Marine, Iraq, Afghanistan, War, anything people freak out. It's weird, but I guess to some degree I must have acted that way too when I began to date my marine. I definitely remember telling my friends Army instead of Marine and they almost hit me... yeah, that vocabulary changed quite quickly. I can't imagine myself any other way and I'm happy to be able to say that.

I also wanted to thank all you girls, and maybe even some boys out there who have been reading my posts. It means a lot to me that yesterday 54 people looked at the blog. It is nice knowing that other people are going through what I am, and that people have dealt with it before me. So thank you again! I look forward to more comments and maybe some marine gf/wives/fiancées friends to talk to while my marine and many of theirs will be deployed!

Again thank you all!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Tug of War

Tug of War was always a fun game that I and almost everyone used to play as a child. I never thought it could be used for emotions, a situation or really anything. I find it to be a game you play with the dog or with a young child, not a 21 year old marine. I feel that this deployment is a tug of war game. I feel all I do is fight against what I feel is right. I'm bashing my head against something bigger then me. I feel like I'm trying to pull the rope away from something 100x bigger then me. I know I shouldn't be pulling away when he "is going to need me more then ever" but what about what I need. I need the reassurance that I'm needed in his life and I don't get any of that. I feel that the real thing that happening right now is my ex. A guy proposed to me earlier this year, well technically at the beginning of 2009. I said no, because I thought it was a bullshit... It really wasn't as much bullshit as I thought. He is still crazy in love with me and not afraid to tell me. It's hard as hell to deal with honestly. I don't want to be involved with him.. I love my marine but all I want to do is push against him to try and have him show me that he cares but everytime I push it goes nowhere. I'm supposed to see my marine this weekend and I don't think I can bring myself to do it honestly. I really don't think I can see him and then have to say goodbye again. It feels like all I'm ever doing is tugging against everything in my life and I hate it. I'm pushing away someone I care about because of god knows what. I just feel so ehh about everything. I can't even put my feelings into words anymore. There isn't anything to say. This day could also just be a really really bad day and I'm just reacting to it in a way that I shouldn't be. It may also be the fact that nobody I know has been supportive of my relationship with my marine. I feel that I'm always tugging against another person to see my relationship for what it is. I love my lance corporal and I can't imagine not spending the rest of my life with him, but my mother, my father to some degree, all of my friends except for the one's who have seen my relationship with him blossom. My mother hates the fact that he's a marine, my dad says, after I explained how much money would be involved if my boyfriend and I decided to get married, that I should marry him before he leaves and divorce him when he gets back (yeah my dads got a fucked up sense of love). My friends don't understand how I can love someone whose abandoning me to fight for a bullshit war. They also keep stating that he could die and why would he want to risk his life when he has me, and my marine says I'm a anxious alice. I know their trying to protect me from something they can't possibly understand, because they've never dealt with it. I've become a Marine, well a Marine Girlfriend, and it's changed me for the better. I've become a person I could have never seen myself becoming and it's all because I met someone who lived a completely and totally different life. I found a family who respects and loves no matter what skin color or background.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Rude New Yorker

Some of the first words that come to mind when thinking of a New Yorker are:
  • rude
  • arrogant
  • self-indulgent
  • snobby
  • bitchy
  • highly opinionated
  • ignorant
  • phony
  • fake
  • rich
  • Its funny coming back to the city I've spent all my life in. I feel like an outsider, even in my own home. I feel that Philadelphia has opened my eyes to the life I was living and the life I live now. I spent 6 years in a private school in manhattan, to some degree its a lot of peoples dream to live in the city that never sleeps. Before I left for Philadelphia, I felt that New York was the place to be to meet people, to have friends, to live your life, but now my entire idea has changed and to be frank my mother does not agree with me. I grew up with a therapist and shrink, yeah I must be pretty fucked up haha. I believe that because I grew up with this background for parents, I tried to keep an open mind to things that I didn't understand. I have always tried to be the odd one out, not for the reason to being different but for the reason of trying not to be labeled as the "New Yorker". I didn't make friends with people because I knew I was different; I just never knew what it was. After going to college and meeting people from all over I realized that my open mind has sort of shot me in the foot. I look at New Yorkers as a breed of people that I don't relate to, even though I was born in New York and have lived my entire life here. College has changed me for the better but everyone looks at me like I am some freak of nature. What's the problem with drinking a whiskey and coke or liking country music. Am I already deemed a hick? What about my friends who all love country music and love any type of whiskey who only live an hour away from New York in South Jersey. Shouldn't New Yorker's be more open then anyone considering it's one of the biggest places of tourism? It seems not. Already being home for a week, I've realized how different I am, especially after all my friends have mentioned that the new me is not what they expected when they said they wanted to see me again. I've grown up and it seems that nobody else has. For example my mother. It seems that as a teenager every person has problems with their mother, but it seems that the only type of relationship I can have with her is either happy and friendly or at odds. Finally after years of hating who I was because I didn't have friends and I couldn't figure out why, I'm happy and love who I am, yet my mother is so critical of who I've become. I'm now somebody who:
  • has friends
  • has confidence in myself
  • is intelligent and can show it
  • is in love with a marine
  • is more aware of other people
  • is happy to be myself
  • accepts all of myself
  • Do any of these qualities seem negative?? So why should my parent who claims to love me be upset when I come home and don't fit in anywhere except with my friends back in Philly? Why is it so hard to accept that I am different and that the qualities that I have are special at my age. How many girls have confidence in themselves? or actually accept who they are at 18? How many girls can honestly say that they found love and feel cared for? How many can be proud of themselves? I can't count that many, I know maybe two or three who have maybe one or two of these qualities. I feel that college is the place where you learn about yourself. Well I've learned over the last year that I am: a strong individual who loves life, loves my friends, loves myself. I have learned that I'm not so different, and what I think makes me different makes me special to people that I know now. Nobody I know in Philadelphia looks at me and says I'm some snotty, snobby, uptight, bitchy, or rude New Yorker and that's how I want to keep it! *Sempre Fi* *I mean no offense to ANY New Yorkers reading my posts, I am myself a born and raised New Yorker; These are just opinions and venting about what I have dealt with since moving back to New York*

    Friday, June 19, 2009

    3 Weeks

    3 weeks but 46 left to go!

    As of three weeks ago my marine left for his predeployment training. I realize I haven't been writing but I don't know what to say. I feel as though I am falling apart as he is getting more prepared. When he moved in to his room at Cherry Hill, I explained that I felt like it was final, that it hadn't hit me until he left that he was really going to Iraq. He told me he knew it was happening and he was prepared. Well I wish he had prepared me better for the very little communication that I have with him whenever he has a second to talk. I wish he told me that it was going to be hard but that he believed I could do it.

    I feel so alone. College is done for the summer so I'm home, my family is completely against me staying with him while he deploys to fight some godawful war that really nobody believes we should be in. I've put so much faith and work into this relationship, I'm so worried it won't remain as strong as it is now. I know it is possible to be even better and that is the outcome I am looking for, but as many of you know, it hurts to be left alone for so long with nothing but the hope that your man comes back alive and still loves you.

    I am so proud of him for everything he has done. I know I haven't exactly been the best girlfriend while he'e preparing to go but what can you do except hold them close and tell them you love them. I pushed him away and he never pulled back so our last few days together were miserable. That is my fault and I fully admit to that and apologize for it.

    Its been 3 weeks and I have a lot longer til he's even deployed and I feel as though I am falling apart. I have been very lucky to have had 6 months with my marine rather than a month or a week or any time in between. The 6 months have shown me that I am strong enough to stand by a marine's side and be happy. God made me to fall for him and stay with him through this.

    To all the women starting to deal with their boyfriends, husbands, fiancees, and even friends leaving for their tour of duty, remember they are protecting and fighting for us. We should only be so lucky to have had the time we did with our marines. They are amazing men and each one of them has someone here thinking about them. Love them, respect them, miss them!

    I miss my marine every morning when I wake up without him next to me, every meal Ieat, I remember when he used to sit next to me, every afternoon when he would come to relax after a long day of classes with me, being on the motorcycle with him going 140 mph and above all I miss him the most at night, where he used to sleep next to me every night for 6 months. I am just beginning to deal with the pain of a deployment but I feel that my feelings are the same as many of you are dealing with.

    If anyone would like to talk or communicate with me, you are more then welcome to email me here or at SEMPRE FI!

    Tuesday, May 26, 2009

    1 Week Left

    1 week left and 44 to go

    At 8 am this morning I had to take a math midterm exam. My boyfriend and I woke up together so we could go; I spent time with him last night studying, so he doesn't fail the class, so when he gets back from Iraq he can return to Drexel. My boyfriend felt that he would fail the exam so why should he take the exam. I felt upset but said if thats how you feel I really can't stop you.

    The worst part about it all is that halfway through my exam I realize that tomorrow is our 6 month anniversary and that within the next week he has to move out of Drexel and move down to North Carolina for his 3 month pre-deployment training. He gets activated next friday. I feel like I'm falling apart. I don't want to think that I have a few weeks left and finals when I can't spend as much time with him as I possibly can.

    I am very excited for tomorrow though and this weekend. I decided to throw my boyfriend a huge going away party. The party is going to have about 25 people there and it should be so much fun. He and I are also going to go down to his beach house for the Memorial Day weekend.

    *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

    Sunday, May 17, 2009

    I Do...?

    Welcome to the Family, Now your One of Us!

    The biggest step in two peoples lives is to say the first and hopefully last I do. This past weekend I spent time with my marines family because I couldn't go home to my own. I found it so comforting to be around his family that seems to be close to perfect while mine is falling apart. It was also a treat to bond with his twin. I've always felt that if he and I did get serious, I would have to become close with her just because they are the only two people in the family who are blood related. (the entire family is adopted). That is probably why I feel so comfortable around his family. From the first second I met his parents I wanted to become part of his family. Well this weekend I semi got my wish. My marine's twin asked me what I was going to do considering her brother is leaving for Iraq in the fall. I was honest and explained that I was going to wait it out. She then says with a huge smile on her face that I am part of the family the newest Z***a. I stood here amazed because I thought she hated my guts. The other interesting part about his twin is she's been engaged TWICE! She's only 21 and has been engaged to two different men and at this point in time is single. So after this comment she goes on to ask whether or not he's proposed. I look at her with a confused smile. Of course I would love my marine to propose and say he wants to be with me forever, but it seems that it may not happen just because of who he is. He's not one to settle down, sadly. I feel that when he gets back from Iraq, he might have a different view of things being 22 at that point and all, but then again maybe not at all.... He might want to go back.... which is what would scare me even more... Photobucket SEMPRE FI *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

    Wednesday, May 6, 2009

    I Keep Racking My Brain for a REASON

    Why did he choose to pick up his life again and throw all that he has down the drain? I love him more then anything but why does he have to me hurt so that he can be the hero? I understand it's his duty and I feel in love with that but what about his duty to his family or me for that matter? Oh wait he has no duty to me because he is technically a single marine. I don't feel bad that he isn't married to me. It doesn't matter as long as he is coming back into my arms and nobody else. Honest to God I think it would be harder for me to marry him as he is running off to Iraq. Iraq scares me no matter how safe it is it. I've been told it's more dangerous to walk around in my neighborhood then in Al Asad. My biggest fear is him not coming home. I know it is so unlikely that he won't return but it is a fear that won't leave my mindset for a while. Fear is only a line away from other emotions. The only reason I fear is because I love him. Fear is irrational which goes hand in hand with love. You can't love without fear and you can't fear without love. I know he cares and that is why he can't always be honest about everything in Iraq. It's just so he can protect me. I respect him for trying to protect me from what he has seen and what he will see when he goes back. He has told me stories about how hard it was for him to adjust to life as a civilian when he got back. I mean I know how hard it is dealing with jet lag when i get back from Europe. It sucks, but imagine 7 months in a war zone with people not being abel to visit at all.


    are probably the nicest part about staying in the states and being not that far away from Drexel. All my friends and family can visit me and make sure I'm okay. Zappa can't, I can't even call the boy when he's over there. I think that's going to hurt the most. I love being able to hug him and his kiss his back, his shoulders, his chest, while I tell him I love him. I love being able to wake up next to him feeling his warm body against mine, or the way he holds me as he falls asleep. Falling asleep next to someone is the next most intimate thing I think two people can do. Letting someone be in bed with you as your as vulnerable as you can be is something so special. People wake up looking awful, breathing reeking. One is so vulnerable when their sleeping. A person could take advantage of that vulnerability and use it against you. It takes a lot of trust to really let someone lie next to you. Photobucket *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*

    Monday, May 4, 2009

    Marine VS. Army

    What is the big deal?

    My boyfriend is a marine and my best friend is in the army! Of course the one weekend I can see my army guy before he leaves for Afghanistan is the final weekend my boyfriend goes to drill before his deployment. i.e. my boyfriends going to be a pissy mess! My army friend isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the pack. He is rude and arrogant and I really can't put up with him, which is saddening because we've been friends for the last year. He doesn't understand that people aren't like him and that the way he acts isn't okay. He acts like an asshole to get girls and in New York, it works in Philadelphia yeah fucking right. I've taken him out to meet friends while he was here, but all he did was be completely disrespectful and got on me and everyone I know nerves. I respect my friend for joining the army and protecting the country and all that good stuff, but when it comes down to who I respect more, I respect my marine so much more. My army friend thinks he's better then my marine because he has had more training in infantry and crap of that nature. Yes my boyfriend is in communications but I like it better that way. I don't want him running off and shooting people. I guess the whole macho thing comes into play here. Army boy is off shooting people and comes off as an asshole; Marine boyfriend is doing a job to help people in communications. Its a mer choosing of who you want in bed with you at night. I once heard someone say that a woman wants to go out with the bad boy and have fun but takes the good guy to her bed. The army boy is the bad boy and my marine is the good boy in essence. I know its never that black and white but in the current situation it seems that way. I see how my army friends reacts and I don't think he's the right type of person to be involved in something so serious. He just seems to want to come off as a hero, but it really won't work. Look at what the Marines do when compared to the Army:


    • highly mobile amphibious attack force
    • trained to attack from the water and establish a beach head, an area of control on foreign soil.
    • Marines are mobile, lightweight, and very rapid.


    • Ground-based military force.
    • US Army captures and holds territory with the use of infantry, aircraft, and an extensive support staff.
    • The US Army is in the thick of battle.
    Just when looking at what each branch does you can't compare the two. I understand from the point of being a marine and being compared to someone in the army and or navy or coast guards, one would get offended. Marines do have the most vigorous and painful boot camp training of all the branches. I am not saying that the army boot camp isn't hard; it's just less "work". Photobucket Sempre Fi! *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*


    I noticed earlier on this week that many of the people who have stumbled across my blog are looking for Marine Girlfriend Quotes. I thought I would please some of them and add a new quotes I've seen running around online that I thought would be useful. If anyone has anymore please do leave a comment with them!
  • I'd rather be kissing than missing my marine
  • This bed is lonely without you here, missing my marine.
  • Half of my heart is in _____
  • The marines my have my husband, but I have his heart.
  • It may say US Marines over his heart, but it belongs to me.
  • No matter how many pillows I pile the bed with, it's so empty without him. Missing my deployed Marine.
  • A Marine's girl fights her hardest battle when she kisses her marine goodbye.
  • Missing you gets easier everyday, because it brings me one day closer to being with you again.
  • I'm the girl who worries everyday your away. I'm the girl who will stand by you through everything. The girl who is proud to say you are mine. The girl who loves you with my whole heart. I miss and love my marine. Come home soon.
  • I sleep alone so you don't have to. Proud Marine Girl missing my marine.
  • Just because he's deployed doesn't mean I'm single.
  • True love knows no distance. Loving & Missing my marine.
  • I may wear the glass slippers.. but my hero wears combat boots.
  • I'm the girl who waits months for a single kiss a kiss that makes the months apart worth every second ♥
  • God made some of the strongest women, and made their match with a Marine!
  • Forget shinning armor, I'm loving my hero in his dirty cammie's.
  • Roses are red, cammies are Green, I'm in love with a US Marine
  • Distance makes the weak weaker, and makes the strong stronger
  • "Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib: not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal; under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved
  • Friday, May 1, 2009

    Marine Vs. Papa Roach

    Last night was one of the funniest nights I've spent with my marine. We had gone to sleep around 11 because he has a drill weekend he had to be up at 8:30 for a midterm exam. I got up around 12:30 to use the restroom and my roommate runs into the bathroom screaming theres a COCKROACH in our room. I turned to her half asleep and asked why she didn't wake up my boyfriend and have him deal with it. She keeps going on about how it was crawling on our tv's. I explained to her there was nothing to be afraid of. I should be more afraid considering I'm very allergic to cockroaches. I went back to my room and went to sleep... I woke up a few minutes after she left and saw a HUGE cockroach on the wall next to the tv. I tell my marine "baby get up a cockroach is on the wall... you have to get it out of the room. I'm allergic!" He wakes up goes relax you'll sleep with a marine in your bed but not a bug? I yell at him to kill it. He grabs his steel toed timbs and hits the roach. It was still alive and I told my boyfriend to kill it! I started to practically cry because I don't want to be living with a roach in my dorm room. He says get your stuff we're going to my room.. Beth can deal with the roach. He goes to get my epi-pen and my allergy pills and puts in his contacts. As he's getting my phone and a few other things he sees the roach and screams HOLY SHIT THATS A HUGE FUCKING BUG! I told him to kill it lets go to his place. He's helping me get into my clothes as he sees the roach scramble out of the room. My marine, whose been through boot camp, who rides a motorcycle and was in Iraq last year, the man who thinks he's tough s**t screams, throws his timbs and runs in the opposite direction of the bug. I stand there laughing my a$$ off, I couldn't help it. The man who goes on about how tough he is, just ran away from a cockroach. Well he ended up coming back and finding it against the wall opposite to my door. He yells "die bitch!" and killed the cockroach. I have never seen him scream or freak out, but it was well worth it to see a marine scream and run away from a bug. After his war with the roach, we got back into bed and he started to make movements like he was a dead cockroach. It was quite amusing to see how quickly he switched from heavy duty marine to scaredy cat! I thought it was nice to see how civilian he really is sometimes... Especially considering after all of this crazy stuff I asked him if it would be possible for me to see him off when he leaves for Iraq in Sept and if I would be able to pick him up when he comes back in march/april. It made me happy to have him say I want you here when I come home! Photobucket *remember I myself am a Marine Girlfriend, I respect all Marines, Army and Navy. I respect that all these young men and women are fighting in countries so I can live safely. I do not wish to offend anyone!*